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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work [Summary & Takeaways]

by The Quick Book Summary Team
3 minutes read

Main Topic

The book focuses on providing practical guidance for a successful marriage based on seven key principles.

Key Ideas & Arguments

  • Building Love Maps: Understanding your partner’s world.
  • Expressing Fondness and Admiration: Appreciating and valuing each other.
  • Turning Towards Each Other: Showing interest and responding to bids for connection.
  • Accepting Influence: Respecting and considering each other’s perspectives.
  • Solving Solvable Problems: Effective conflict resolution strategies.
  • Overcoming Gridlock: Resolving perpetual issues through dialogue.
  • Creating Shared Meaning: Establishing a deeper connection and shared goals.

Chapter Titles/Main Sections

  1. Introduction: Setting the stage for successful marriage.
  2. Observation and Insight: Understanding the science of relationships.
  3. The Myths and Realities of Marriage: Dispelling common misconceptions.
  4. The Love Map: Deepening emotional connection.
  5. Fondness and Admiration: Strengthening the foundation of love.
  6. Turning Towards Each Other: Nurturing emotional responsiveness.
  7. Accepting Influence: Fostering collaboration and compromise.
  8. Solving Solvable Problems: Practical strategies for conflict resolution.
  9. Coping with Typical Solvable Problems: Handling common challenges.
  10. Overcoming Gridlock: Breaking through perpetual conflicts.
  11. Creating Shared Meaning: Establishing a shared vision for the future.
  12. What if One or Both Partners are Considering Separation?: Navigating challenging situations.
  13. Afterword: Reflection and encouragement.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John Gottman PhD, Nan Silver


Key Takeaways

  • Successful marriages thrive on emotional connection, admiration, and effective communication.
  • Conflict resolution is crucial, emphasizing understanding and compromise.
  • Shared values and a deeper connection contribute to long-lasting relationships.

Author’s Background & Qualifications

John Gottman, PhD, is a renowned psychologist and relationship expert with extensive research on marital stability and divorce prediction.

Comparison to Other Books

The book stands out for its evidence-based approach, drawing on Gottman’s extensive research, setting it apart from many relationship guides.

Target Audience

Couples seeking practical advice to strengthen their marriage, as well as individuals interested in understanding the science behind successful relationships.

Reception or Critical Response

The book has received widespread acclaim for its practicality, backed by research, making it a staple for couples and therapists alike.

Publisher and First Published Date

Published by Three Rivers Press; First published in 1999.


To Sum Up

The key to a successful marriage lies in cultivating deep friendship, positive regard, and effective communication, as outlined in the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

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